Sick of being just a friend?

When you are attracted to a man or woman and want to be in a relationship with him or her, the worst thing that could happen is if you have to hear the dreaded words “let’s be friends” from him or her.

It is an awful situation when you are attracted to someone and all he or she feels for you is strictly platonic emotions. Therefore, to avoid being labelled the “friend,” you need to make certain from the very beginning that you don’t do anything to fall into that category.

Read on to find out if you are already in the friend zone, why you might have been put into that zone and how to avoid such a situation.

Signs you’re only a friend

Men and women usually find it very easy to talk to a friend about pretty much anything, with a friend it’s ok to be yourself and feel comfortable. But before jumping to conclusions and thinking that the person you are attracted to is so open with you because he or she likes you — watch out! You might be mistaken. You should know that you are already in the friend zone if:

• He or she tells you all about their problems with members of the opposite sex.

• He or she asks you for advice about the people they are attracted to.

• He or she tells you excitedly, “I just met this really great guy or girl!”

 

The reasons

The following are a few reasons why you have been bracketed into the friend category:

No attraction

Yes, the person you are attracted to might think you’re great company and genuinely like being with you, but that does not mean he or she wants a relationship with you. One reason might be because he or she is not attracted to you sexually. If this is the case, there is not much you can do about it. Different things turn on different people, so if there is no attraction to begin with, you could just appreciate having a good friend and move on.

Different priorities

People have a type and each individual looks for something in their partner that would compliment them. Another reason why someone might like you a lot but only as a friend is because you are probably just not his or her type. Don’t take this personally thinking there is something wrong with you. It just means he or she is looking for something that maybe you can’t give them. Just find someone who wants the same things as you and will like what you have to offer.

You might have been a doormat

He or she has given you friend status because you’re way too nice, too accommodating and too agreeable but only because you want to win he or she over— and they see through it. You try to impress too much. So if you want to win over the man or woman you like, don’t try too hard, it might turn them off.

 

Avoiding the situation

If you haven’t yet been given the friend tag, here are a few tips on how to avoid getting into that situation:

Play hard to get

Stop acting like his or her puppy dog and don’t be so available . Don’t get together with him or her at the drop of a hat. Wait a day or two to return one of their phone calls. Be a challenge, not a doormat.

Other men and women

The best way to get someone you like is to date other people. This may not always work but if he or she is even remotely attracted to you, it might convince him or her to date you, even if it is out if jealously. At least you will get that one date to win him or her over.

Ask for advice

Openly talk about other men and women and how hot they are. Ask him or her for advice about how you can get close to these men and women. If he or she likes you, they might just tell you what they want in a man or woman and how you fit the bill.

Treat him or her like a partner

Ask him or her out on dates and flirt with them. It will give them a hint that you are interested in more than just a friendship.

Be challenging

Keep him or her off balance. Be a challenge. Be unpredictable. Keep them guessing. There’s a huge difference between wanting someone and needing them — he or she will react with a lot more affection if they know you like them out of want rather than need.

A Letter

Hello my sweet, beautiful, cute, loving, adorable Darling,

I know you will be reading this letter when I have gone too far from you. I am not with you and I know that you are missing me. But before I say something else I want to say that I Love You. You are the only person in this world whom I really wanted to give my entire life. But unfortunately life was too short and I ran out of it. But one thing I want to say to you, never ever feel sad and please don’t let the drops from your eyes. Don’t be sad remembering that I am not with you, but recall the times that we spent together. You remember the first time we met in canteen and I actually stared you like a roadside Romeo. Well that was not a great impression I made at the first time, but you are so beautiful that anyone if see you will stare for a moment. But I finally made you believe that I am a nice guy. I was not from the lot of toppers but still you find me interesting. That time I was not sure what quality you saw me but I was happy that I have someone with whom I can spend time with. Remember the collage mornings, when I used to wait for you in the canteen? The tea there won’t be forgotten as not only the tea was good, but with you having a cup of tea in cold mornings was something to start for a great day. You know I fought with my Dad to get me a bike and the reason I told that ‘I don’t want to waste time in buses. But you know the real reason was to go for a ride with you during college and then weekends. Remember the movies we have seen together. The group that we have was so rocking. We are in still touch with quite a few people and I want you to be in touch with them. They are our real friends without any motive and we can trust them. I still remember the movie ‘Veer-Zaara’ where you want us to go alone and we managed to skip our group and went for it. It was one of the best romantic movies we have seen right? I know you cried a lot during the movie and the affect left for quite a few days. When I asked to keep chill as it was a movie and you told me that ‘It can happen to us also, you are a Muslim and I am Hindu. How can we make the society understand our feelings? How can we bridge this gap of religion? I am not that strong like Preity Zinta in the movie to wait for such a long as I love you a lot and I want to be with you always’. Those words really touched me and I seriously felt that I have to do something on this. But after few days we were back to normal and started going together. Remember the CCD outings? It was amazing right we used to go every 15 days on a weekend after office. We talk all the things happened in office though we already talked that on phone everyday but still we never felt bored talking same thing again and again. I feel this is true love when whatever your partner says, you never feel bore and want her/him to say days and days. You know one thing about you? You have a very sweet voice. I had all your songs sung by you in my mobile and whenever I felt of listening them I had that on one button. Remember the park we used to go and sit at the same place and we used to play antakshari? People around us used to see but we enjoy the moment and sometimes others joined us. You are the source of inspiration dear and you made me feel special with you. So what this means that you are still special. Also I can’t forget the phone talks and the way I used to tease you with my stupid talks just to see how beautiful you look in that sweet angry face. And when I used to ask for sorry and with a small gift of flowers a sweet tiny little smile around your face causing a dimple on right cheek and spreading your lips apart. My God I can do anything for this and any lover in this world can do for her partner. Keep that smile always and get flowers daily and keep that in the pot I gifted you. You remember one daring stuff that we did and actually would have landed in trouble? But I salute you for your bravery and from there you not only were my loving darling but also I respected your commitment. We managed to bring Aakash and Aakansha to temple and have them married. They were like us only right and that made us to help them to start a new life. And remember being in that mandir we hold our hands together and prayed that God we also want to come like this one day. Also the lonely nights we used to walk alongside the sea shore, eating paani poori, chola, lemon juice. I know you love paani poori and keep that habit alive as it was much more for me seeing you eating. I took so many snaps of yours eating that with a mouth full open and you can’t do anything. Remember I used to call gol gappu whenever u eat paani poori and you look awesome with that face and then asking for water after the spicy paani poori. I have given you so many names for each and every time, just pen down sometime and write a single best moment related to that name. the first I will write as a start for you: “Zaara, sitting in theatre with your hand in mine and seeing each other with a caring and loving face and promising each other without saying a single word that we will be together always and will make our Veer-Zaara”. So rest of the work you have to do it for me. Only write the things that will bring smile on your face as the day we met till the day I left, I only wanted to make you happy, bring smile on your face. Read somewhere and so many tells that in love you should always give. True I agree on that because when you give 1% in love more than 1% you get back so never we are in loss and that’s why we always want to get maximum returns and we give give and give. I know I haven’t given you too many costly gifts, infact none I can say as costly gift. But you have accepted it with such joy that you have got a Kohinoor diamond. One more thing of giving you simple and low cost gift is that better to give 10 simple gifts rather than one costly as I will miss the 9 smiles and 9 beautiful expressions of yours. Also you never expected from me for a costly gift and I took that advantage, ha ha ha. It was so funny to fight for small things and you have learnt so many things just for my sake. I am sorry that all those things you gave me I can’t take with me on my final journey, but I am taking the muffler you made for me. If I feel cold on my journey, I can use it right. Oh dear I want to write more and more but my heart and mind are not with me. They want me to leave, but I am asking them to hold for few more time. I wanted to see you during my last time, but I know you won’t know all this and I don’t want to leave this world seeing you crying. I am no more with you Zaara but I want you to remember me, not by missing me, but recalling all the sweet memories that we spent together. Till I am with you, we always used to cherish the small moments and not just be happy in our own but also tried to make others happy. Keep on visiting the kids we used to go often and spend some time with them. We were fortunate to have so many people around but those kids have no one to take care and I will feel happy if you can spend some time with them. It will give you mental peace and making them smile will bring smile on your face. You might think it’s easy for me to write all this, but believe me dear, I don’t want to leave you, I don’t want to go from this world. What I will do after this? There was hardly a day in many many years that I have not called you, messaged you, saw you, met you, and spent time together with you. What I am gonna do is my next thinking. Just want to say few more that ‘Remember me in a way that I will bring smile on your face’ remember this dialog from the movie ‘Tum Bin’ J

So I want you to do exactly like this, I m no more with you but you will find myself, my words advising you to be happy and make others happy. Okay dear its time for me to go… wont promise but I will see you again not so soon but surely I will be back…

 From: ………………………………

 

Smile a lot, it cost you nothing but can make few others to use this valuable gem.

Love is like river, let it flow and you will come across different banks, letting it stagnant will make it spoil.

Life moves on and so as we. Love is life so it also has to move on.

Remember the greatest three words you can say to a person and a person can say to you ‘I Love You’